Merry Christmas (*conditions apply)

I wanted to start it this year but it is so difficult in the current climate to know exactly what to say without offending someone. So I met with my solicitor yesterday, and on his advice, say the following:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the summer solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

Also we wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2010, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make the world a great place, and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, or sexual preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wishor to actually implement any of the wishes for himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wishor.

This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wishor…

Disclaimer:
No trees were harmed in the sending of this message, however, while a significant number of electrons were inconvenienced, no bits were lost.

Author: unknown. But sourced from a friend of a friend.

(I thought this was great! Merry Christmas to you – and best wishes – from me in Melbourne. Hope you have either a well-earned break or a few weeks of well-paid overtime, and get to spend time with those you love this Christmas!)

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