I haven’t written much yet on my reflections of almost three weeks in my new job, and it’s 11 o’clock at night now so this certainly won’t be a long post. But I have a lot to write, and that will all be coming before too long. It might happen this weekend. But this weekend, the first thing I really should focus on is getting my tax done which, incidentally, was due last night. Oops.

Being appointed as a director of CCRL means that I can bring youth representation to the board. With the current General Manager, Bill Kitto, resigning as of the end of the year, this could be important as we don’t yet know who the incoming General Manager will be, and whether they will be as open to youth involvement as Bill is.

That’s not the only reason I nominated for the board though. For any organisation that I work for, volunteer for, or am involved with in some capacity I try to learn as much as I can in order to do the best I can in my job. As I see it, knowledge is power. The more you know – the more fingers you have in the pie – the better job you can do. I intend to be involved with 1WAY FM for some time, and if I can’t see things from the board’s perspective when planning and implementing new ideas in my position as Project Manager, then I’m not making the most of my capacity. Also, if I have ideas that need to go to the board first, then of course by being on the board I’d be able to present them myself and aim for a faster turnaround time.

And I thoroughly enjoy learning. I try to learn whatever I can out of everything I do because I know that anything could be helpful to me later down the track. This is the learning phase of my life, after all. And I’m sure that I will gain alot of valuable insight and experience at the board level through this appointment.

1WAY FM’s purpose is to present the reality of Jesus Christ through radio and other media, and as the world moves forward, I think it’s important for 1WAY FM to move forward with it – and further establish itself as Canberra’s alternative music radio choice. Through this, it can bring more people to Christ and challenge those who are already saved to continue stepping forward.

There was alot of discussion tonight about the appointment of the new directors – including the fact that it could be a conflict of interest having a salaried staff member on the board. That was largely put aside with the suggestion that I could be asked to temporarily stand down for any decisions where that conflict of interest would come into play.

I guess I saw my appointment tonight as an endorsement, and as encouragement, to continue pursuing further involvement in this new phase of my life. The vast majority of my time will now be spent on 1WAY FM – using my skills and ideas to make changes, in order to take 1WAY FM into the future and help it effectively accomplish its mission.

That’s what I think – based on what God has revealed to me so far – that my life’s purpose is. To use my unique skills to help missions accomplish their God given mission. Once I have done my season at one mission, another one will be awaiting me. This is what I’m pretty sure I’m heading towards. But you know, this could only be part of it. God could have anything in mind for me!

It hurts me to see it. I don’t understand how someone who was once close to God can doubt Him at this level. From here it’s equally easy to go either way – and that’s scary.

It makes me start to doubt too. I often have to go back and rack my brains for things that have happened in my life that show me God is real. I usually have no trouble finding something, but sometimes it takes a while to think of a situation. All the while, the devil is trying to give me alternative reasons why things could have been “co-incidence” rather than God.

Alot of my faith is based on the people around me. I grew up in a Christian family, and I have been around Christians all my life. I don’t know the Bible as well as I should – so a lot of my morality comes from the teaching I have received and the people who I allow to influence me. When people I know throw their faith away – or come to an agnostic point – I really struggle. More so if that particular person has been a large influence on me, which was the case with another friend recently. I have to make a decision to accept what they are saying, but not agree with it – and to not allow it to influence me even though before I would have gladly listened to and thought deeply about what they said.

So then I have to go back to what I already know and believe. It’s hard. I wonder – if everyone around me faltered, would I be able to hang on? Is this faith my own, or is it kept alive by my earthly friendships with those who believe the same as me? If push came to shove, would I stay faithful? Deep down I know I will. But I hate this doubting.

To non-Christians this usually looks like a boring “religious duty”. It’s not boring, but sometimes I feel like it is a duty, because it can be hard to do it. But then when I actually get into it, I wonder why I don’t do it more often!

The days that I start by spending time with God always turn out better than those when I don’t. I feel more awake, more motivated, more confident and more at peace. The days when I don’t, I often end up lazing around and I don’t do all the things I have to do. I’m often more tired, more insecure, and I worry a lot more.

I’d like to say that throughout my Christian life (of the last five years or so) I’ve spent more mornings with God than without Him – but really, although I haven’t kept count, I know it’s the other way around. Looking then, at what I achieve on the ‘good days’ verses the ‘bad days’, I do wonder how much more I could have achieved in the last five years if I had been faithful every morning.

Last week I skipped a couple of days in a row. At the end of those two days, after reflecting on them, I realised that a couple of interactions with people didn’t go very well at all. I let pride get the best of me in a couple of interactions with people that I don’t know very well but will be working with more and more as time goes on – so I can only hope that what was very much a ‘first impression’ won’t stick. Deep down, I have a lot of pride, but on the days when I am connected with God, he often replaces most of it with humility.

Quiet times are incredibly important to me, but as I mentioned, they can be very hard to stick to – to a point where it feels like a duty that you don’t want to do. Bob Gass, in his Word for Today radio segment on 1WAY FM here in Canberra and also on almost every other Christian radio station in Australia, recently did a series of days on ‘Your quiet time with God’. I want to share several things from some of the points he made (out of the hundred or so that could be gleaned from his six short segments).

Bob suggested going to bed early the night before – fantastic idea! Obvious idea too – one so easy to implement, yet so rarely actually implemented. I find myself staying up to the late hours even though I’m incredibly tired, and then waking up tired with no thought or intention whatsoever of saying good morning to God. But, I’ve found when I do get to bed early, and wake up early enough to give myself time to spend time with God without rushing it, time to get ready, and time to get to wherever I have to be on time, I feel a whole lot better – and less rushed.

This takes discipline – which some of the time I’m pretty good at, but certainly not all the time. Bob also says that ‘the devil will exaggerate how tired you are’. That’s something to remember on the mornings when you wake up after having been to bed late the night before. Of course you’re tired, but there’s someone who doesn’t want you to start the morning right, and he’ll exaggerate that to try to put you off course. Bob refers to Dr Robert G Lee – “if you wake up in the morning and don’t meet the devil face on, it means you’re headed in the same direction!” I find that all this needs is some effort to say “No, I’m going to meet with God anyway” and to realise that you’re probably not as tired as you seem. Ask God for the strength.

It can be easy to be sceptical and say “the devil isn’t making me tired, I really am tired”. That could be true. But simply denying that the devil is actively working against you isn’t going to get you anywhere – you need to realise that the enemy really does exist before you can start to fight him. How about the fact that when you start a quiet time you suddenly “remember” all the things you need to do? The garbage needs to go out, you have to remember to call someone today, you can’t forget to take your lunch in the fridge…. Bob gave a very useful tip: use a memo pad, write down these things that you suddenly “remember”, then forget them and go back to your quiet time. Afterwards, peruse the list and do what you have to do.

Bob’s segments were full of practical tips. For a three minute per day radio segment it’s amazing what he can fit in! “Get up as soon as you wake up” was another one. Again, it seems obvious, but unfortunately it has to be said! If you don’t even think about getting up, and just do it, then that’s that battle already won! The night before, Bob also suggests, leave your Bible open at the passage you intend to read. Go to bed with thoughts of God – “see you in the morning”. Don’t make an exception for any reason. Don’t be distracted by work, tensions with others, tiredness, noises, or those things that you just can’t forget. If you really cannot focus, have a shower or do some exercise to wake yourself up first! But don’t let that push you off into your morning routine of “getting ready” without going back to God first.

And finally, don’t guilt trip if you miss a day – Bob says “if you miss a meal you don’t give up eating – you just eat a little more for the next meal!”

There is alot more in Bob’s segments than what I have mentioned here. For more, see The Word For Today, written by Bob & Debby Gass, for the 10th, 11th, 12th, 13th, 14th, 15th and 16th of October 2007. I’ve heard alot of the typical ‘quiet time’ tips before, but lots of these were new things – new things which I’m putting into practice, and which are really helping me start my day with – and thus follow throughout my day – God’s direction.

At Black Stump on the weekend, I was talking to a pastor about a possible mission trip next year. He talked to me for awhile and asked me various questions, and we came to the conclusion that I really wanted to go on the trip. At the end of our meeting he said to “pray for a no, not for a yes”, assuming that God wants me to go unless he tells me otherwise!

It’s an interesting concept, and the few people I have mentioned it to so far hadn’t really thought about it before either. It seems to make alot of sense. The Bible says that God will give us our heart’s desires (Psalm 37:4b) so if we already have a desire for something, it’s quite possible that God has placed that desire there as a ‘yes’ to us. In searching for a yes, we may come up disappointed because He has already given it to us. And in searching for a ‘no’, the desire may well just get stronger – and there’d be no ‘no’ in sight – hence concluding the process of seeking God’s wisdom for that particular decision.

Thoughts? Use the comment form below to weigh in.

It was a great weekend. Having not settled right into my new life yet (with my activities changing almost weekly so far since I’ve been back from Thailand – no work, breakfast on radio, breakfast on radio + full time work, full time work + funeral in Sydney, and now a more normal sort of week), I opted for the un-Stumplike experience of staying with relatives rather than camping. I know, I know. You miss out on some of the community experience, but there was no way I could have camped there at this point! It was out of the question. Tiredness and a current lack of continuity in my weekly schedule would have thrown me out.

So we got to stay with my uncle & aunty and three little cousins in Menangle – about a 30 minute drive from Black Stump. It was of course great to see them again! I’m very aware now of the fact that since my parents no longer live near me, I am completely independent. I thought I was independent before, but now I have to be independent on another level – keeping up the relationship with relatives. Before, even when I didn’t live at home, I just followed my family along as we visited interstate relatives (all of our relatives are interstate). Now it’s up to me. But that’s good – without parents I have the freedom to be myself more. I don’t mean that in some secret, hidden way in that I can’t be myself around my parents (I know they’re reading this, haha) but more of the fact that it’s now up to me to find out what’s happening in the lives of my relatives. I can’t just sit there and listen to my parents ask the questions. It’s me asking the questions – which lets me be myself more and find out what I’m interested in knowing (I also don’t have to keep to my parent’s schedule – with my laid back attitude to time, we often conflicted ).

This was my second trip to Sydney in the last week. Unfortunately my great aunty passed away almost two weeks ago now – she was 75, but active and healthy so it was a shock. Her funeral was held last week and I got to attend it along with my extended family not only as a great nephew, but also as a representative of the rest of my immediate family – who, being in Thailand, couldn’t make it. There’s not much I can say about the funeral… it was a funeral. I won’t try to outline my thoughts on it, especially when I haven’t got them all together myself yet. But it was great, again, to catch up with relatives. I stayed with cousins & saw other cousins who I haven’t seen for awhile… and, again, now that I’m on my own and independent, it was a good opportunity to catch up and make sure I know where each of my relatives are at in their own lives. I would have loved to have been able to do that with Aunty Lem too, but God had other ideas.

But, and back to a lighter note, I started this post talking about Black Stump! We went up on the Saturday morning and were working at the Tears of the Oppressed stand in the missions tent, and on the Artist Support team. I find that with festivals like Black Stump, I no longer have enough of an interest in the goings-on to be able to be entertained the whole time without something else to do as well. Not that I don’t enjoy it of course, but there’s only a few bands that I absolutely had to see and only a few more which I wouldn’t mind seeing. There were a few workshop/seminars that caught my interest, and a couple of the arts performances (especially the comedy debate) but apart from that – as far as the official programme goes – there’s alot of time that I have with nothing to do. Hence why I like volunteering in some sort of capacity. It keeps me busy, contributes to the enjoyment of the festival for others, and hey, I get in cheaper so that’s a bonus.

Working at the Tears of the Oppressed stand (for James Scott, also the breakfast announcer at 1WAY FM) meant that I could be seen at various points during the festival standing at the stand, as you do, explaining to people what Tears of the Oppressed does – and getting them to sign an important petition – aiming for a length, on one piece of paper, of 30 meters – to free a Chinese house church pastor who has had a pretty tough life in and out of prison for his faith, and is now in a state of declining health. Pastor Zhang Rongliang (I may have spelt that incorrectly) is a friend and ministry partner of Brother Yun, author of The Heavenly Man. We didn’t get the petition to 30 metres when I last saw it, but we had a fair whack of signatures, which will hopefully make a difference when the petition is sent off to Alexander Downer!

Being on the Artist Support team is a great privilege. We were assigned to particular performances in the performing arts section of Stump (not the bands – another team does them) and, in showing up ten or so minutes before the performance started, had the opportunity to pray for the performing person or group. When we could, we’d then stay and watch the performance and give them feedback afterwards. We would pray specifically or generally, depending on what the needs of the performer(s) were. And we’d also help them practically by bringing them water or organising anything else we could. I could tell that what we were doing made a difference in the performance, so I was very glad to be able to help out in that way. We were referred to as “spiritual groupies”. Alot of people probably don’t know this part of Stump exists, but it certainly is an integral part of the lineup.

But by far, the thing I like most about Stump is the fact that a great number of the Christians I know are in the one place at the one time. I love the conversations. I love the fact that I can just walk through the festival, see tons of people I know, and find people to catch up with over coffee (or hot chocolate). Back ‘in real life’, as we say after being to a festival such as Stump, catching up with someone over coffee takes effort to organise especially when both schedules are rather full. At Black Stump, a catch up can be organised in two seconds, and there’s usually nothing to have to race off to afterwards! I had some great conversations at Stump this year, and I even got the chance to meet a friend who I have only talked to online before – she originally found my website when searching for Black Stump photos, and e-mailed me after reading my testimony. And then we met at Black Stump. How cool is that?

So that’s my wrapup of my thoughts at present. I suppose I should read over all of this to make sure it does make at least a little bit of sense, because I’m at work and work isn’t the best environment to collect your thoughts for a meaningful post.

As far as Christian festivals go, the next for me is Soul in the City Canberra in April 2008 – which I am most definitely looking forward to – and I’m also looking forward to Black Stump next year in its new venue – the Sydney International Equestrian Centre! A new venue should breathe some life into a festival which I thought had lost a little character this year. Can’t wait.

Every single Soul conference that I’ve been to so far has been different from the last, and this one was no exception. Rather than being primarily a participant, I was this time primarily an organiser. I was on the site operations team, and my job was to manage the main tent – basically the tent/pavillion/marquee/whatever you want to call it where the two main meetings each day (morning and evening) were held.

Although it took up most of my time at the conference, it was still great fun. I usually only enjoy things if I’m learning something from it, and this certainly fit the bill – I learnt alot practically about venue & event management: everything from managing volunteers to the different types of pro audio cable ends. The volunteers on my team were fantastic – including one person who donated the use of his cameras and video switching equipment (probably worth a combined total of at least $15,000) and another who just knows exactly how to work the visual side of things (eg. lyrics, cameras, lighting) to ensure the best appropriate worship setting for those attending the meeting.

The main meetings consisted of announcements, worship through song, a talk from a different speaker each time (with names such as Jim Yost – an American missionary in Papua, Mike Pilavachi – director of Soul Survivor Global, Hugh Evans – humanitarian and previous Young Australian of the Year, and Matt Gelding – director of Soul Survivor NSW), more worship through song, and an invitation to the Holy Spirit to join the meeting. Many things happened – including people being healed, people coming to the Lord, and people making big decisions – something which I identify with well because it’s exactly what I was going through two years ago when I decided to sell my business.

The conference of course didn’t just consist of the main meetings – there were also three seminar sessions a day, where three to four seminars were available at once, presented by a number of different speakers on issues such as speaking prophecy, caring for the environment, creativity in worship, world and local missions, reading the Bible, spiritual warfare, serving, praying, leadership, youth work, intimacy with God…. and more. I only really got to one seminar (but have ordered a bunch of others on CD) which was with Maaike Starreveld from Soul Survivor Holland. She spoke honestly and openly about her experiences and the one main thing I took away from her talk was – “If you get distracted while praying or worshipping, perhaps God is trying to tell you something”. I often get distracted and try to push the distraction away – but Maaike told of times when she has been distracted whilst praying by, for example, objects such as lamps on the other side of the room. In that circumstance, God was trying to talk to her about being a light. It sounds simple – but was an oh so helpful realisation for me.

The other thing I took away from the week was a bunch of new friends and acquaintances. I met alot of people on the Soul team, especially the site operations team, and I’m sure I’ll be seeing alot more of those people in future.

I’ve created a very short video of some of the happenings – all in the main tent because that’s where I was:

At the moment I’m really looking forward to next year. Soul Survivor NSW is moving away from the conference format to mimic what Soul Survivor UK has done – and create ‘Soul in the City’. Rather than a week long conference format focussed on feeding and growing young Christians, Soul in the City (and it’s younger sibling ‘Soul in the Suburbs’) is focussed on young people serving others. Soul in the City 2008, based in Canberra (yay!), will involve five days of meeting together in the same ‘main meeting’ format, but then going out and serving the community through a wide variety of projects. I don’t have any idea yet what these projects are going to be, but they’ll likely range from things like gardening to community sporting events, and from cleaning to IT work.

Here’s a video that shows a bit about Soul in the City in London:

I can’t wait till that comes to Canberra – it’s going to be fun and challenging to help organise it, and it’s going to touch alot of people.

Photos

There’s a few places you can look for photos. There’s my Black Stump 2006 photo gallery, the official photo gallery, or other stumpers’ photos posted on the Stump forums.

Things I remembered

The first thing I remember about the weekend is hearing from Donna Mulhearn. She talked three times, but I only heard her third talk, last thing before leaving on the Monday (probably why it’s the freshest in my mind). She spoke about Pine Gap – the military facility 20kms out of Alice Springs – and how she and three other people from the Christians Against All Terrorism group broke in to the facility in December last year. They were arrested and their trial started yesterday; you can read about it on PineGap6.org. I’m not too sure I agree with what they’re doing; it’s certainly way out there…

Other than that, the weekend gave me a good chance to have a short but well deserved break from work, and just to sit back to listen to some great music. My favourite bands would have been Antiskeptic and Compliments of Gus, and my favourite venue the Genesis Lounge. The Genesis Lounge was a new venue this year, and it provided a quiet place to sit and reflect, with live acoustic worship every night.

I also received more enthusiam for working on improving our small group at church. I won’t write about all that here, but it certainly needs some work and someone to do it.

Next year

Next year I might try to get into an IT support role. If not, then I still enjoyed security so I may try that again. I much prefer doing something there rather than just being a participant! (And it’s not only because I get in for free )

And that’s about all I have to say for now!

See also

• Korske’s Black Stump writeup

Leslie spoke of God’s will, and how it certainly differs for each and every one of us. Most of us also never carry out his perfect will for our lives, because we simply decide not to – either blatantly or by thinking we’re doing the right thing when we’re really not fully seeking Him. God does work through this though, and still builds a will for our lives despite our non-compliance with the way he would have liked to have had it.

The bulk of Leslie’s talk, however, focussed on God’s general will for our lives. God’s specific will can only be fully uncovered when we start following His general will.

So, what is it?

It’s written throughout the Bible. As someone who grew up in a Christian family, I knew most of this in the back of my mind already. But was I doing it? No. Leslie’s talk gave me the further knowledge and prompting I needed to start trying to do His general will and through that, seek His specific will for me.

Following is a list of verses that I wrote down from the talk:

• 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5
• 1 Thessalonians 5:17-22
• 1 Timothy 2:1-4
• 1 Peter 2:13-15
• Matthew 5:44
• Matthew 18:21-22
• Psalm 66:18
• Proverbs 18:19
• Luke 17:1-2
• Malachi 3:8-11

Each of these says something about what God expects each of us to do. Some of it is easy to follow, and some of it isn’t. There’s certainly some things I can put some effort into improving on! If you think God may be wanting to reveal to you more of His specific will for your life, have a read of these verses and see what you can do to follow His general will first.

So, this year, I was expecting something “big” to happen, as it did last year with my decision to sell my business. But nothing big happened. I was beginning to feel a little disappointed, until I realised that if something “big” did happen again this year, I’d be looking to Soul Survivor in order to fufil needs in my spiritual life. And that’s not the way it should be – there’s no reason why something big can’t happen at anytime – Soul Survivor is not the only way to God! I wouldn’t want to get addicted to big gatherings.

Although nothing big happened, I still greatly enjoyed the week. I got a chance to do the lyrics for some of the main meetings, using an open source program called Lyricue, and hopefully next year will get a chance to do more technical jobs. The week was also a nice break from work – and from getting up at 7am every weekday morning – and a chance to spend some time with friends that I don’t get to see as often as I used to anymore.

I also got a better understanding of God’s Word and its relevance to my life, through the various seminars and talks during the gathering. This will hopefully help me in my quiet times with God. Through these seminars and talks, I also learnt a bit more about spiritual gifts, especially prophesy (see 1 Corinthians 14), which greatly interests me.

A great illustration I picked up about spiritual gifts was: how would you feel if someone gave you a gift for your birthday, and you said “Thanks, but I’ll just sit that here and not open it”. How do you think God feels if we just ignore these spiritual gifts he has offered to us, and encouraged us to seek after? I’d encourage you to have a read of the relevant passages in 1 Corinthians (in chapters 12 and 14) if this speaks to you.

Finally, it was great to hear from Jim Yost – a Californian born missionary who has been serving in Papua, Indonesia for many years (around 25 or so, I think). He is a great risk taker, and from hearing some of his stories, he really should be dead many times over!! He is doing great work in the tribes and cities in his area, and his talks certainly encouraged me to think about cross cultural mission more.

So that’s my rundown of the Soul Survivor Gathering 2006. The theme for the gathering was “Walk as Jesus Did”. There is another gathering at the same time next year as well.

I hadn’t started reading much of it yet, simply because I couldn’t be bothered. As the book mentions in the first chapter – which I’ve just read tonight – I’ve been “too busy to notice God”, “too tired to read [my] Bible” and “too comfortable in front of the … computer to spend time with God”. Each of those apply to me.

I don’t know what made me pick up the book today, but I’m glad I did. Ever since I turned 18 – since the very day – alot of things have changed, and I’ve known that it’s about time I put more thought into who I am and who I’m going to become. More thought into who God wants me to be, and where I’m going with my life. I’ve been gradually thinking – and praying – about it more, and now that I picked up the book today and decided to read it, I’m that little bit more onto the right track.

The first chapter includes a few statements – a code for God’s followers:

• There is no such thing as “later” with God, only now
• There is no such thing as being neutral with God – you can go only backward or forward
• There is no such thing as playing both sides
• There is no such thing as great results without sacrifices
• There is no such thing as lies without consequences
• There is no such thing as mixing God’s values with others that are more popular
• There is no such thing as being good on your own
• There is no such thing as a real God without a real devil
• There is no such thing as “I know better” when there’s God
• There is no such thing as harmless fantasies about women
• There is no such thing as a disconnected and productive Christian
• There is no such thing as a good “secret” that contradicts God’s Word
• There is no such thing as a good conscience without the Holy Spirit
• There is no such thing as a relationship with God without communication
• There is no such thing as growth without testing
• There is no such thing as freedom without responsibility
• There is no such thing as getting hurt by others and not needing to heal
• There is no such thing as risking more for God and getting less back
• There is no such thing as a bloody Saviour and a lazy believer

So, are these a set of rules for being a Godly man? No way! They’re promises. They’re reminders. They are encouraging statements from God. Some of them are scary, but they’re reality. Some feel great to know, and others are a wakeup call. I’m feeling I specifically need to pay attention to points 1, 4, 8, 10, 11, 14, 15, 18, and 19 where I am at the moment.

I have a chance now to put more effort into this. I may not have that chance later. I know that I want my life to be one that will impact others and will be looked upon favourably by Him. So this, in many ways, is a turning point – one of many that I’ve had, and most likely not the last either – but as it says on paper on our kitchen wall: “It’s time you appreciated God’s deep love”.

If you’re a guy, and you think it’s time for you too, grab the book and see what you can learn.